What are they?
They both seem so real. Or rather they are real. Every night I wake up to my dreams, and everyday I wake up to this ‘reality’. Sometimes there’s no way in telling where I’m at, I lose track… both are so vivid. Conjuring all kinds of emotions and images, affecting every aspect of my thoughts… changing the way I see things… changing… always changing.
Lately I’ve pondered on how one can prove that they are now currently awake, and not dreaming. Is it physical pain? The logical time frames? The limitations of science and the laws of physics? Somehow it makes sense… but also far from being a viable truth.
It’s been over a year now since I’ve taken this, almost, obsession with dreams and dreaming. I don’t have nightmares anymore, or rather I don’t consider them as nightmares… they’re just mishaps and misfortunes… I just learn to let go and let the darkness fill me until I shiver and sweat in my wake. In most cases there’s nothing you can do, you have no control over your (sub)consciousness. I just let it show me what I need to see and what I need to feel.
Every so often you hear, experience or know of blood shed, rape and outright torment. Some consider this a nightmare, but to the victims, it’s their reality. Sometimes denial may convince them it didn’t happen. Is it then right to impose acknowledgement and torment them psychologically for the rest of their lives? Or is it better for them to think of it as a hellish nightmare that they soon will wake from and move on, but treading lightly?
That’s the thing… reality can have so many complexities at every given moment, simultaneously haunting your mind and your body. Some can go crazy from all the pressure and stress. So, in this sense, is this not a giant continuous nightmare? There’s no denying that there are moments of relief, moments of ecstasy, moments of enchantment and fascination. But don’t dreams display the same perplex pool of emotions and physical distress?
Dreams, to me, are far less complicated. Although we experience them in a jumbled and random order… they show everything in broken down clips, a montage illustrating a larger concept of my (sub)consciousness. Is this the flaw in thinking that the dream is our actual reality? The fact that there is no order. No control.
But what if our dreams were our actual reality? A chaotic realm lacking order and any form of control. A world where not a single one of us holds any control or structure in our lives? What if we never had the keys to our own fate? What if this reality, our ‘reality’, is our dream? A realm with control and order, where we are able to mold our own destiny and not given to us. We are able to tell our own story, and try to have some form of control with what we experience and what we don’t. What if all of these are the things that we’ve longed for our whole lives? So we escape to dream of this reality. And sometimes we wake up in this reality and forget what happened because sometimes it’s a gift to forget, especially painful memories.
So we choose to believe that this is our reality, and choose to base our knowledge and perception through the experiences of this reality. Is that why there are stories and beliefs of a higher being, able to control our destinies, holding our fate? Do some of us go about living our lives disproving the existence of a higher being due to their desire to forsake relations to the ‘dream reality’ where we aren’t the determinants of our life? Is this why we crave control and power? To rid of the notion that we live in a chaotic nonsensical world.
Most importantly, who is to say that there is solid proof that we are in our reality and not dreaming? Much like our dreams, can’t we dream of everything that we do in this realm?
I’m not saying that I truly believe that our dream world is our real world. But I’m just fascinated by the complex manner of trying to disprove the theories regarding each side. So there is no solid proof (?) just a feel for strong justification. Funny. Don’t you think?